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The Apprentice Special – Dara Obriain’s Greatest Hits and Apprentice Slips



Dara Obriain - 'You're Fired'

The Apprentice Special – Dara Obriain’s Greatest Hits and Apprentice Slips

Dara Obriain is much more fun on You’re Fired than Adrian Childs. Mind you some may say that root canal surgery is more fun than Adrian Childs. Dara is delightfully sceptical about the whole Apprentice process; not I think especially fond of the Good lord! Sugar; and conveys just the right blend of astonishment, vicarious embarrassment, justifiably cynical analysis of motives, and downright exasperation that The Apprentice and Apprentices in the Class of 2011 demand and deserve.

This programme was Dara’s ‘Greatest Hits’. So as a series aide memoir, with the final coming up on Sunday, and irrespective of whether one of Dara’s or not, I invite you all to contribute to the ‘best of’ 2011. Add to this list below if you can think of any I’ve missed. Then pick your top 10. Plus if you want, tell us who you think will win on Sunday.


1.     Is this an orange?
2.     Do the French like their children?
3.     Do the French drive cars much?
4.     I don’t give a shiny sh*t what Melody thinks.
5.     Caracas – those Mexican chicken things.
6.     How do you blow your load?
7.     Didn’t William Columbus discover the potato?
8.     Was Byron a vegetarian?
9.     Did Byron write at the same time as Shakespeare?
10.  7×60 = 4,800……er 4,200…..er 420.
11.  Broke the mould….it’s all there…..not me
12.  When I was producing….that was production.
13.  This is a show with integrity; there are no tactics; what you see is what you do.
14.  If I were to say ‘a ten inch cloche’ to you – would that mean anything?
15.  Won’t you even knock a penny off?……… OK I’ll give you the penny – £359.99.
16.  I’ve spray-tanned a MAN!
17.  He had his head so far up Jim’s bottom that he couldn’t see the wood for the trees.
18.  Catsize – see their light.
19.  Hello you in number 73 – have you any scrap metal?
20. We have a brilliant App and having thought it through I’ve decided that the person we need to sell it……..is me.
21.  I’m the PM they loved.
22.  I was more like Mother Theresa than a Project Manager.
23.  Would you like to take a seat?……..In his own office.
24.  This will be the popcorn of biscuits.
25.  She’s everywhere – she gets where dirt can’t go.
26.  Why shouldn’t a police horse have to walk on the pavement?
27.  We’re both just trying to shoot Bambi……Actually it was Bambi’s mother who was shot.
28.  For the over 60’s magazine title:

Coffin dodgers
Hip Replacement
Old Looking
Young at heart
Old Boy
Old Boot.

However tempting dear readers – only this series this time. If you like the idea we might try a best of all series as a final wrap up to the Apprentice ‘Season’.

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